that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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