To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
