If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
