just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She bit a glass in half.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
