Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
