I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
