All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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