who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
