Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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