So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
