He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
