She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
