I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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