yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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