So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
