yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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