It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
