just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
