his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize