i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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