i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
