a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
