also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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