Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A bitchslap is in order.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
