glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
