some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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