I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize