They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I AM VODKA MAN
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
