Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
