My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
