she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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