Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
