Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
