I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
