My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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