Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
