I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
