Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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