He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
