I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Success! We fucked roommates!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize