I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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