apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
