operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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