He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I want is dick and wine.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
