Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
