maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
