Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
