I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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