White coat. Heels.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize