Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The adults are the big ones right?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
