I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you didnt know i had herpes?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
