That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize