do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
