he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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