omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
