Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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