The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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