My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
