i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
