are you still at the devil's house?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Last time i carry you out of a forest
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
