I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
