Porn is love you can see.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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