I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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