5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
