I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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