Nicole vs. Life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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