your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
