i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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