My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Welp...herpes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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