Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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