If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
