She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
