i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm really busy with my period
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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