I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
