Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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