Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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