We won't sleep together?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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