a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
