if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
